Msgr. Peter J. Vaghi
Title of Series: "Moral Life: Living the Hope Within Us"

Part 6: "The Sixth Commandment: Sex, Marriage, and Purity of Heart"

March 5th, 2009
First Thursday

I have entitled this March Lenten meditation: “The Sixth Commandment: Sex, Marriage and Purity of Heart.” The sixth commandment can be found at Ex 20: 14 and Deut 5: 18. Not unlike the Fifth Commandment, there is more to the sixth than meets the eye. The catechism teaches that “the tradition of the Church has understood the sixth commandment as encompassing the whole of human sexuality.” CCC 2336

For our purposes, we will continue the three-fold approach to this commandment which we have used in this series -- l.) The Hebrew Understanding of the Commandment; 2.) The Effect of the Christ Event and 3.) Some Practical Implications for us today.

l.) The Hebrew Understanding

“You shall not commit adultery.” As with the fifth commandment, this commandment is extremely terse, short and laconic. Unlike the fifth commandment, where the word “kill” was open to various meanings and interpretations, the Hebrew word n’p means to commit adultery. There are no major linguistic problems. There is a specific understanding of what adultery means, however.

“In the Old Testament, this commandment meant that the wife was prohibited from sexual intercourse with any other male (other than her husband) and the husband from sexual intercourse with any other married woman. A man could have intercourse with a concubine or a prostitute without coming under the sanction of this commandment.” (Patrick Miller, Deuteronomy, pp 88-89) In the Jewish eyes, adultery is thus specifically and uniquely the crime against the marriage bed and not general sexual irregularity.

As in the case of killing, the law against adultery simply states the prohibition and does so in an unqualified way. It is a paradox of human nature, moreover, that there was no sin regarded in Judaism with greater horror than adultery. Yet there was no sin, to judge by the rebuke of the sages and prophets, that was more common.

“ ‘He who commits adultery,’ said the Sage, ‘has no sense; he who does it destroys himself’ (Proverbs 6:32). …There are three who never return from Gehenna -- the adulterer, he who puts his fellowman to shame in public, and he who calls his fellowman by an opprobrious nickname (Tan.d.b.El.p.29)… Destruction will come upon them, ‘because they have committed folly in Israel, they have committed adultery with their neighbours’ wives’ (Jeremiah 29:23) Ezekiel flings his accusation against the nation in his day: “Adulterous wife, who receives strangers instead of her husband!’ (Ezekiel 16:32). ‘And I will judge you as women who break wedlock and shed blood are judged’ (Ezekiel 16:38). (William Barclay, The Ten Commandments for Today, 94-95)

In Hosea 2:7, we hear: “Yes, their mother has played the harlot; she that conceived them has acted shamefully.” Deut 22:22 tells us that a man or woman caught in adultery were subject to death -- both of them -- an indication of how serious it was considered. “Thus shall you purge evil from your midst.”

While adultery is often and frequently mentioned in the Hebrew scriptures, only in 11 Sam 11-12, the well known account of the adulterous King David and Bathsheba is the crime spelled out in detail with names of persons, places and the specific occasions. After having an adulterous relation with Bathsheba, after the birth of their child, after David had her legitimate husband killed in battle to conceal the original crime, David did repent. The Lord answered him through Nathan who said:

“ ‘The Lord on his part has forgiven your sin: you shall not die. But since you have utterly spurned the Lord by this deed, the child born to you must surely die.’” (2 Sam 12:13-14)

Yes, the compassion of God for him! But David had to live with the consequences of his act -- and so do we. “For the author/editor of Samuel, David’s adultery with Bathsheba was a turning point not only in David’s reign, but in the history of the kingdom. All the subsequent trials and ills of the later years, the rebellions and machinations, are described as stemming from that violation by the king, who compounded adultery with murder, forfeited the respect and loyalty of his troops and thus distanced himself from Yahweh, the covenant and the privileged status he enjoyed as the anointed of Yahweh.” (Bible Review, December 1989, pp 36-37)

This language of “covenant” gets us to the heart of the matter. As Fr. Alfred McBride, O.Praem., so beautifully describes this in his book: “The primary concern of the Sixth Commandment is not adultery so much as fidelity. In fact, no other commandment so fundamentally reflects the covenant, the basis of the commandments, as does the covenant fidelity of husband and wife illumined by this sixth invitation from God…. In the Hebrew covenant, marriage was meant to reflect the wedding between God and Israel with irresistible affection… Such fidelity implies more than abstention from adultery; it rejoices in the challenge to be faithful.”(Alfred McBride, Ten Commandments, Sounds of Love from Sinai, p80)

The challenge to be faithful! That underlies, for the Hebrew mind, the proscription against adultery. It parallels the first commandment against having other gods. Both portray a clear unfaithfulness and both are thus reprehensible to the God of the covenant whose character it was to be totally faithful. Yes, I speak of faithfulness expressed in loving obedience. And it permeates every sphere of life, both religious and secular. That is the way free people live. That gives a distinctive character to the Hebrew law on adultery. Adultery of one partner in a marriage involved not only unfaithfulness to the other partner, but unfaithfulness to God.

The essential value involved here is the protection of the sanctity of the marriage relationship, of the family, that covenant of the two persons freely entered into for life. For the Hebrew mind, and we learn this from Genesis 2:24, “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and joins himself to his wife, and they become one body” -- the monogamous ideal of marriage. And adultery -- taken very seriously -- assuredly undercuts and damages this sacred relationship and undercuts the covenant with the God of Israel.

In addition, the Hebrew law, the law given by Yahweh, was counter-cultural and stood in some tension with the legality of polygamy and the toleration of prostitution in the culture of that time, the surrounding Canaanite neighbors, the linkage of prostitution and the religious cult of Baal and others. In sum, chastity, particularly in the context of marriage, was a high value under Jewish law. The sixth commandment sought to protect it. And in a world replete with pagan temple prostitutes, the Hebrew law -- despite the praxis -- stood squarely on the side of monogamy and faithfulness. The strictness of the law is rooted in the sanctity of the institution being protected.

II.) The Effect of the Christ Event

There are two ways in which the Christ event deepened the Hebrew understanding of the proscription against adultery. The catechism teaches that “Jesus came to restore creation to the purity of its origins.” CCC 2336 How did He do this?

First, we look once again at the Sermon on the Mount, to the Gospel of St. Matthew, where Our Lord interprets God’s plan strictly. He teaches: “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Mt 5: 27-28

Not only the act of adultery but the lustful thought is proscribed by Jesus. The teaching of Jesus thus turns the sixth commandment on its head. He seeks to turn something external into something internal without abandoning the external precept. Jesus demands more than the absence of adultery. He even proscribes looking lustfully at a woman.

And He gives us the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of His abiding, ever-faithful love, to help us, to renew our minds, to make us pure in thought, word and deed. We are exhorted by St. Paul in his letter to the Romans: “Do not conform yourself to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect.” Rom 12:2 This is the work of the Holy Spirit.

In the face of temptation, we must yield to the movement of the Holy Spirit that our minds might be renewed. Our minds are often described as the factories of sin. Our bodies, moreover, are temples of the Holy Spirit, the living God within us, renewing us, molding us into His loving image -- His heart and mind -- that great benefit of being reborn of water and the Holy Spirit, of being a member of His body, the Church.

Before leaving this deepened understanding of sixth commandment given us by Jesus, you might ask what does it mean to look at someone lustfully?

In effect, it means -- by the look -- of reducing the other person to an object. To do so is a way of gratifying one’s own physical desires without giving of oneself to that person, a gift which would be present if there were a genuine “communion of persons.” That “look” thus violates the infinite dignity of both persons. In case of a spouse, when lust dominates, it is not possible to express a mutual, selfless and free giving gift to the other person. Selfishness is not a selfless gift of love.

Second, in another significant way, Jesus transformed and deepened the Hebrew understanding of adultery.

Listen again to St. Matthew’s Gospel: “Some Pharisees approached him, and tested him, saying, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause whatever?’ He said in reply, ‘Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate.’ They said to him, ‘Then why did Moses command that the man give the woman a bill of divorce and dismiss [her]?’ He said to them, ‘Because of the hardness of your hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) and marries another commits adultery.” Mt 19:3-10

To add to the credibility and biblical authenticity, this teaching of Jesus regarding adultery is found, in addition to the text of St. Matthew, in Mark 10:2-12; Luke 16:18 and the teaching against divorce is found in 1 Cor 7:10.

Divorce and remarriage were thus permitted, but not encouraged, by Moses. With the coming of Jesus, however, divorce and remarriage were forbidden. Violation of it was seen as a form of adultery. The “exemptive” clause “unless the marriage is unlawful” seems to refer to an incestuous union due to marriage within forbidden degrees of kinship. Such a union would not be a true marriage anyway. Bottom line, the catechism teaches that “ the sixth commandment and the New Testament forbid adultery absolutely.” CCC 2380

Jesus uses as the basis of His teaching the language of Genesis that reads “from the beginning [of creation]” man leaves father and mother and is joined to his wife and the “two shall become one flesh.” Indissoluble -- forever one! Short of that, adultery takes place -- another radical spin placed by Jesus on the law of Moses. This firms up the sanctity of marriage and the permanence of the marriage covenant.

Please note: it is important to understand that what is forbidden by the Catholic Church, by the teaching of Jesus, is divorce and remarriage without an annulment. An annulment, the pastoral juridical process of reconciliation, which the Church strongly encourages for one who has received a civil divorce and hopes to remarry, is a necessary process to be married in the Church. It is a juridical determination that the prior union was never a Catholic Christian marriage ab initio, (from the beginning). Hence a finding of an annulment would mean that a person would be free to marry again without committing adultery prohibited by Jesus in the passage we just heard. I would encourage you to support a person who finds him or herself in the often traumatic and very difficult situation of a divorce and encourage that person to consider exploring the process of an annulment.

The same compassionate Jesus awaits that person who forgave the adulterous woman, a woman who could have been stoned to death according to the law of Moses. With regard to her, Jesus “bent down and began to write on the ground with his finger” and said to the people: “ ‘Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.’ Again he bent down and wrote on the ground. And in response, they went away one by one, beginning with the elders. So he was left alone with the woman before him. Then Jesus straightened up and said to her, ‘Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?’ She replied, ‘ No one, sir.’ Go, [and] from now on do not sin any more.’” John 8:7-11

III. Some Practical Implications for each of us -- two points:

First, under the section of the sixth commandment, the catechism has a whole section on the Vocation to Chastity -- that successful integration of sexuality within the person and thus “the inner unity of man in his bodily and spiritual being.” CCC 1337 Most of us have never quite thought that each one of us, without exception, has this vocation to chastity regardless of our state in life. “All people -- married, single, religious and ordained -- need to acquire the virtue of chastity.” USCCA 405

“Chastity unites our sexuality with our entire human nature. It approaches sexuality as related to our spiritual natures so that sex is seen as more than a physical act. Sexuality affects the whole person because of the unity of body and soul. Jesus is the model of chastity. ‘Chastity includes an apprenticeship in self-mastery which is a training in human freedom’ (CCC 2339). “The acquisition of chastity depends on self-discipline and leads to an internal freedom, which enables human beings to temper sexual desires according to God’s plan for the appropriate expression of love in the marital relationship of a man and a woman.” USCCA 405

More effort must be placed in our human development beginning in the family. As followers of Jesus, the ways to acquire chastity, include the long and exacting work of self-mastery (e.g. more intense work during childhood and adolescence), laws of growth in chastity depending on one’s stage in life (often giving into sin and marked by imperfection), the grace and gift of the Holy Spirit within us which helps us to live virtuous lives (and thus imitate the purity of Christ) and ultimately the virtue of chastity blossoms into friendships with one’s neighbor.

The catechism lists as offenses to chastity the following: lust, masturbation, fornication, pornography, prostitution, rape and homosexual acts. The United States Catechism for Adults makes clear that “having homosexual inclinations is not immoral. It is homosexual acts that are immoral.” USCCA 407

Second, an important word about the marriage! It has a specific meaning. By definition, first and foremost, God is the author of marriage. This institution created by God applies to a faithful, exclusive and lifelong union between a man and a woman. Any other effort to describe marriage is not marriage. We know this from the order of nature, the light of human reason and confirmation by Divine Revelation found in scripture.

The catechism lists the following as threats to marriage: adultery, divorce, cohabitation (an unmarried couple living together), polygamy and attempts to justify “same sex unions” giving them matrimonial status. USCCA 410-411

The recent Vatican document Dignitas Personae (DP), teaches: “Marriage, present in all times and in all cultures, ‘is in reality something wisely and providently instituted by God the Creator with a view to carrying out his loving plan in human beings. Thus husband and wife, through the reciprocal gift of themselves to the other -- something which is proper and exclusive to them -- bring about that communion of persons by which they perfect each other, so as to cooperate with God in the procreation and raising of new lives.’ In the fruitfulness of married love, man and woman ‘make it clear that at the origin of their spousal life there is a genuine ‘yes’, which is pronounced and truly lived in reciprocity, remaining ever open to life...” DP 6

“The bond between husband and wife is both conjugal and procreative. Conjugal mutual love and fidelity is the unitive aspect of marriage. The procreative aspect of marriage concerns the conception, birth and education of children. The bond between the unitive and procreative may not be broken.” USCCA 408 The catechism clearly teaches that “these two meanings or values of marriage cannot be separated without altering the couple’s spiritual life and compromising the goods of marriage and future of the family.” CCC 2363 Both are essential for a proper understanding of marriage itself. So important is the openness to children as an integral part of marriage that the church teaches consistently that “‘it is necessary that each and every marriage act remain ordered per se to the procreation of human life.’” CCC 2366

“The origin of human life has its authentic context in marriage and in the family, where it is generated through an act which expresses the reciprocal love between a man and a woman. Procreation which is truly responsible vis-à-vis the child to be born must be the fruit of marriage.” DP 6 Efforts to achieve pregnancy outside of the act of sexual intercourse (e.g. in vitro fertilization) are thus morally wrong as is artificial contraception.

Cardinal Cafarra, the Archbishop of Bologna, writes perceptively that “This truth (regarding the inseparability of the unitive from the procreative) is substantially reducible to the affirmation that every act of sexual union carries indelibly inscribed within itself the sense of being both a gift of total, definitive and faithful love and an act intrinsically ordered to the co-creation of human life.” (Carlo Cafarra, Living in Christ, p 219)

Note well: “Periodic continence, that is, the methods of birth regulation based on self-observation and the use of infertile periods, is in conformity with the objective criteria of morality.” CCC 2370

I conclude with a word of respect and encouragement for those of you who are and have and continue to live a life of faithfulness and chastity both in the single and married state. Your witness reminds each of us ever anew that with proper understanding, and God’s faithful love, the sixth commandment -- as challenging as it can be -- continues to be a powerful sign of God’s love for us and our families in this world of ours.

AMEN